#Poptarts bites plus

But neither title would quite do justice to its namesake treat, as these Bites adopt a similar taste palate-that of crumbly buttercream batter-but it’s a bit of a hollow adaptation.īecause of the minuscule medium it operates in, each Confetti Cake Pop-Tart Bite can’t maintain the careful crust-to-frosted-filling balance that makes a Confetti Cupcake Pop-Tart worth it as an occasional ‘simply sweet’ delight-and even then, only when the other options are vegan Fudge Stripes and stale store-brand Nilla Wafers. If I were to be extremely generous to Confetti Cake Pop-Tarts Bites, I could call them Pizza Roll-style Dunkaroos, or Inverted Lofthouse Cookies. I’ll pop open a pouch with an open mind, and give these angel-cake devils their due. Heck, If I wanted a handful of bite-sized compound sugar bombs, I’d spread Cool Whip between some Frosted Animal Cookies.īut I’ve whined enough. microcosm or not, one thing’s for certain: Confetti Cupcake Pop-Tarts were never that good to begin with.

Whether this was meant to be a symbolic instance of macro- vs. No, instead of going with a proper, albeit unberried, wild card flavor like Hot Fudge Sundae or a Gone Nutty! variety, we got Confetti Cupcake Pop-Tarts Bites. They complete this sacred quartet by further balancing rich and fruity sweetness. We got the higher ups in Bites form, as well as Chocolatey Fudge-which is a quasi-quintessential Pop-Tarts variety alongside Cookies & Creme.īut we’ve heard nothing about #3 & #4, S’Mores & Wild Berry. If brand-level marketing has to tick certain option boxes, so too should a peripheral Pop-Tarts product have to do justice to what I’m calling The Big Four.

#Poptarts bites plus

Likewise, Kellogg’s translates to Frosted Flakes and Froot Loops, plus Pop-Tarts, too.Īs above, so below.

Post’s are arguably Honey Bunches and Pebbles, which is, itself, a two-faced Janus of Fruity & Cocoa. General Mills has Cheerios, Lucky Charms and Cinnamon Toast Crunch to do the bulk of its flavor licensing work. Mainstays, icons, the A team: every brand’s got ’em, whether they’re flavors or sub-brands.įor Quaker cereal it’s Cap’n Crunch (and maybe Life).